The butterfly hug: bilateral stimulation you can give yourself

The butterfly hug is the simplest, most portable piece of EMDR you can carry. There's no equipment, no screen, nothing to set up — just your own two arms. Cross them over your chest, rest your hands near your shoulders or collarbones, and tap gently, alternately: left, right, left, right. That's it. That alternating touch is a form of bilateral stimulation, and used slowly it's a reliable way to calm a stirred-up nervous system.

Where it came from

The technique was developed by Lucina Artigas while working with survivors of a devastating hurricane in Mexico in the late 1990s. Faced with large numbers of traumatized people and limited resources, she needed something survivors could do for themselves to self-soothe. The butterfly hug — named for the way the crossed hands resemble a butterfly's wings — spread from there into disaster-response work worldwide and into everyday EMDR practice.

How to do it

1. Cross your arms over your chest, so each hand rests on the opposite upper arm or shoulder — hands near your collarbones, elbows pointing down. The crossed hands look a little like a butterfly.
2. Tap alternately and slowly. Tap one hand, then the other — left, right, left, right — at a slow, gentle pace. This isn't drumming; think of it as a soft, rhythmic patting.
3. Breathe steadily as you tap. Let your breathing slow and deepen.
4. Notice and let it settle. Keep going for a set of maybe 6–12 taps, pause, notice how you feel, and repeat as needed until you feel calmer.

You can do it with eyes open or closed, and you can pair it with your calm place for a stronger effect — hold the calm image while you tap.

When to use it

Anytime you feel anxious, activated, or overwhelmed: before a stressful meeting, during a wave of panic, when intrusive thoughts surface, or as part of winding down for sleep. It's discreet enough to do in public if you keep it small. Parents and therapists also teach it to children, who often take to it easily.

The important boundary

Used slowly for calming, the butterfly hug is completely safe on your own. The key is the intent and the pace: you're using it to soothe, not to deliberately dredge up and process a traumatic memory. Fast, extended bilateral stimulation aimed at reprocessing trauma belongs in a session with a trained clinician who can manage what surfaces. For everyday regulation and self-soothing, though, the butterfly hug is yours to use freely — one of the genuinely portable gifts of EMDR.